


Taking It Slow

by ladydragon543



Series: Feelings [1]
Category: Avengers (2012), Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: All Picasso's Fault, Angst, Beta'd by the awesome lavenderfrost, First Time, How did plot get in here, M/M, Multi, Porn, Smut, Steve Isn't A Know Nothing Virgin, Tony Has Feelings, prompted, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2017-11-05 18:01:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon543/pseuds/ladydragon543
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Steve have been dating for a year.</p><p>And it's been a very frustrating and celibate year, until now...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Taking it slow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TariCalmcacil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TariCalmcacil/gifts).



> Comments, Kudos, Constructive Crit: All of it is welcomed!
> 
> Also: If you read it within the first hour or so of posting, I am SO SORRY for the its/it's debacle. All of the 'its" have been fixed. =)
> 
> ETA: Oh my gosh, I went to bed and had maybe over a hundred hits and that alone was enough to make me *so happy* ad then I wake up this morning and--oh my goodness!   
> <33333
> 
> Never fear lovelies there is a sequel in the works!
> 
> ETA2: Changed Stark Tower to Avengers Tower so its a bit more movie compliant. =D  
> ETA:3 The next bit is up! [We All Need Someone To Drive Us Mad](http://archiveofourown.org/works/412276/)

They’ve been dating a year. One year. It's long enough to make Tony jittery because damn, a lot can happen in a year. You can get pregnant in a year, have a baby. Well, women can. In a life not-so-past, Tony would have been chasing tail for every night that year--and probably getting it.  
  
 Aside from his relationship with Pepper, (which had lasted two years, thanks) a year is the longest Tony has ever gone in a relationship.  
  
 Even longer for a celibate relationship.  
  
 Tony knows that most people would be surprised to learn that he even knew how to keep it in his pants, let alone for a solid year.  But then, most people would be underestimating the power of Steve Rogers.  
  
 Steve is…old school. For the first three months, Tony hadn’t even caught on that they were dating. Not until one night when Steven leaned in for a kiss, and Tony gave in cause hey, why not, and... _oh_.  
  
Bit surprising when sparks fly and you weren’t expecting them at all.  
  
 And Steve--look, he may be the All-American Apple Pie guy, right, all _Fuck Yeah America_ without the profanity--but he knows what’s what in the making out department. The man can kiss, _god_ can he kiss.  
  
And Tony gets to reap the benefits of that.  
  
The thing is though, that Steve, being the good guy that he is, being such an old school guy that he is--he’s got some funny ideas about sex. Like waiting to have it. Which had admittedly thrown Tony off his game, once he’d clued in that there was indeed a game afoot.  
  
The first time he’d tried to talk Steve into sex, Steve had gone very quiet and stony, making it quite clear that no, not happening. And there’s something about Steve that makes Tony agree to stupid things like waiting ‘until they're ready.’  
  
 Which, for Tony? Is here, now, anywhere, anyway, with nearly anyone. But he agreed, and so he’s been sticking it out.  
  
 And now, Christ.  Now Tony is in Steve’s dinky little apartment (The man refuses to move into Avenger's Tower, says it's too much like moving in together, which is ludicrous because Avenger's Tower is huge, it’s a freakin’ high-rise with several floors of apartments and really there’s enough room for all of S.H.I.E.L.D to move in. Which they haven't, but the point is, there is more than enough room. But no, Steve is adamant.) dressed somewhat down, at Steve’s request. (“No suit, Tony.” “Not even the--” “No. Casual, ok?”)  
  
 And Steve looks…amazing. Well Steve always looks amazing, but he’s clearly had some styling tips from someone because gone are the khakis and tucked in shirt, and in their place are a well-cut pair of jeans and a long-sleeved tee that looks soft enough to touch. The shirt is a dark blue, and it suits him very well.  
  
 All throughout dinner, Tony just keeps staring at Steve. He won’t admit it to anyone, but he hardly remembers the food, though it's very good (and, Steve says proudly, all from scratch) because Steve is just breathtaking.  
  
 Dessert is when it happens, though. Steve reveals chocolate-covered strawberries, and just the very idea of Steve biting into a juicy, delectable strawberry is enough to make Tony harden. His every move is predatory, as he descends onto Steve with a hungry mouth. Kissing, nipping, sucking at his bottom lip, tongue demanding entrance.  
  
 Steve groans into the kiss, and dessert is forgotten.  Tony doesn’t know how long they stay like that, just kissing, but he finally has to move, because he’s bending at an odd angle to kiss a man that's normally taller than him. When he pulls back, he can see that Steve’s eyes are blown wide, and something in him stirs at that, recognizes that look for what it is. Oh, yeah.  
  
He licks his lips, can’t help staring at how red Steve’s lips are, how swollen they've gotten.  
  
“Steve, I--” and Tony stops, because he knows the drill. They’ll make out and he’ll go home achingly hard and it will _suck_ , but Steve is worth this and hey, who cares, his hand is just fine and--  
  
“Stay, Tony.”  
  
 And just like that, with two words, Steve has managed to totally throw Tony off his game again, because this? This was not in the cards. There is no staying with them. Not unless there’s a serious injury and reassurance is needed, and even then, it's completely innocent. No one believes this, of course, but it’s the truth.  
  
“You sure?”  
  
 Steve only stands and holds out his hand in answer, a soft smile on his face. Which--well come on, really? God, that should be so cheesy, it should, but it's Steve Rogers. The man took on World War II in a funky showgirl costume and turned into a damned legend, so this? Comes off as completely charming.  
  
Which is how Tony finds himself hand in hand with the man, being pulled into a gentle kiss, and hey, this is new. This is…really new. Steve smiles at him again, and squeezes his hand, and then Steve is leading the way to his bedroom.  
  
Steve’s bedroom is like the rest of his apartment: bright and airy looking, with simple furniture and a few well cared for knickknacks. This is the first time Tony has seen the other man’s bedroom in a context that doesn’t involve injury and near death experiences or nightmares. A nice change, he can’t help but think.  
  
It seems that Steve is thinking the same thing, because he laughs, and it's that shy laugh that Tony is so fond of.  
  
“A bit weird, right?” Tony’s hand is still in his, so Tony squeezes it, and grins. Because Steve is just--so Steve. Utterly adorable, clearly nervous. Which is fine, it's perfect, because for once in a long, long time, so is Tony.  
  
“Yeah ok, maybe a bit. Like uh, high school, y’know? But good…” He murmurs, just before kissing Steve again, his lips rough against the other man's. They part, and Steve gets the idea, and their tongues slide together in a slow dance. The erection that had waned earlier is back with a vengeance, and he pulls Steve closer, a hand dropping to the small of his back, pushing their hips together.  
  
The sound that Steve makes is choked off, like he’d been surprised and incredibly turned on by that, and Tony literally growls in satisfaction at that, because it's so fucking good to have confirmation that he hasn't been the only one suffering with only his hand at the end of the night.  
  
 When he feels Steve’s hand between them, he realizes that yes, good, he’s started unbuttoning the shirt Tony is wearing.  This is good. This is _better_ than good.  This is greatness. He breaks the kiss only so that he can start pulling at Steve’s clothes, and is surprised as hell when suddenly Steve’s hands are on his.  
  
“Tony, no. This--this is for you, for now. Ok?”  
  
Wait--what?  
  
“Huh?”  
  
Steve is wearing that look, the one Tony has learned means ‘Tony is being adorable, but I really mean this.’ Which usually means he’s in trouble, but the fact that Steve’s voice is all amusement puts him at ease.  
  
“Just--let me do this my way, alright? Please…” Steve moves Tony’s hands to his sides, and Tony leaves them there, utterly dumbfounded. This is…new. Totally new, because Tony is used to ramping up the fire and tearing clothes off and fumbling and--nothing this intimate.  
  
But it’s Steve, so…  
  
“Yeah. Yeah, a-alright.” And man, he sounds totally wrecked and he knows it, voice all rough and wobbly. Steve’s eyes are lit with pleasure and he kisses Tony again.  His hands are back on Tony’s chest, making quick work of buttons, and slowly working the fabric of the shirt off him. It drops the floor, and Steve pulls back again and lets out this noise of approval and wonder.  
  
And Tony knows why, because it’s the same reason that he‘s staring at Steve. The arc reactor is bright. The light of it casts blue shadows over everything, and the effect is…arousing. Steve looks ethereal in it. Tony will never admit it to anyone, but he has a sudden desire to create different colored light filters for the reactor. If he’s going to be a night light, he may as well be his very own mood lighting, right? The idea has merit tactically as well, so he files it away for later, and grins at Steve.  
  
“I know. I’m like a litebrite, except I only come in one color.” And Steve laughs, and reaches out to trace calloused fingers so delicately around his chest where the metal of the reactor meets skin, and suddenly Tony can’t breathe. There are scars there, from the first electro-magnet, and while no one has ever asked, Tony will never admits that he hates them.

Aside from Pepper, and then--and then _Stane_ , no one has ever touched him there. The scarred skin around the reactor is very sensitive, and the feeling of Steve’s fingertips as they trace it is unsettling. It makes Tony gasp for breath, and he’s embarrassed to find that he feels overwhelmed. This slowness--no, this _tenderness_ \--is terrifying.  
  
“Steve, I...” He breaks off because no, he wants this, but it's new territory, and change has never really been Tony’s thing.  
  
But Steve seems to know, because he drops his hand down to rest on Tony’s hip, thumb rubbing in lazy comforting circles as he moves closer. “It’s ok, Tony. I know.”  
  
 Tony is shaking and Steve kisses him gently, his other hand cupping Tony’s cheek, before resting his forehead against the shorter man’s.  
  
 Even as his eyes close in relief, Tony can’t help but feel irritated at his own reaction because this is ridiculous. He’s not a blushing virgin, for fuck's sake. He’s had more men and women than most people his age, so why is _this_ any different?    
  
It isn’t. It can’t be, not if he wants to touch Steve. He can think about what this means--the repercussions, after. Later.    
  
And suddenly his mind is clear enough, and he chuckles, opening his eyes. “Sorry I--jitters.”  
  
He hadn’t meant to tell Steve that, but it makes the other man let out a breath he’d obviously been holding.  
  
 “Oh, thank god. Thought it was just me.” Steve says.  
  
Tony just smiles and closes the distance between them. Unlike their first kiss earlier, this one is soft and unhurried, an affirmation that yes, they both want this. When Steve breaks the kiss and drops to his knees before him, Tony groans a little.  The look Steve gives him is pure sex, a wicked little twist to those lips, eyebrow raised.  He’s clearly amused at Tony.  
  
“Like what you see?”  
  
And if that isn’t the most telling question, because though Steve is definitely teasing him, Tony can see in his gorgeous eyes that deep down, he’s still just that scrawny kid from Brooklyn.  
  
His mouth has gone dry, and he just nods, lets the desire, the need, everything he’s feeling right now show on his face, and Steve relaxes just a bit and nods, as if it say ‘message received.’  
  
When Steve settles down to the business of undressing Tony, it turns into an exercise of extreme willpower. Focusing on Steve’s hands as they work on his belt, as they guide his jeans down legs that are shaking, fuck--it's hard to do, okay? _Everywhere_ Steve touches, it's like Tony’s senses go haywire. His eyes keep slipping closed, and that only seems to magnify every touch, every sound.  
  
And since his eyes are closed when Steve boldly palms his erection, he jerks in surprise, eyes opening wide. Steve is standing now, (when had that happened?) and they’re kissing again. Tony doesn’t think he’s ever spent this much time kissing anybody--by now they’d be maybe on round two, but he’s been missing things, obviously.  
  
Or maybe the difference has been that, until now, he hadn’t realized that what he was missing was Steve.  
  
That thought makes Tony stiffen up, just a second, but it's enough for Steve break the kiss. “What, is this--is this too fast?” he says. There’s concern in his eyes, again, and really, Tony needs to stop this, because what Steve had been doing? It'd been fucking _perfection_ , seriously.  
  
So instead of answering, he just starts fumbling at the fastening of Steve’s jeans and, god damn, so many buttons-- “Seriously, Steve, the buttons man. What gives, I-- _jesus_ , it's like they‘re glued on!”  
  
He must be a sight, nearly naked, completely desperate to feel skin against skin, and Steve isn’t quite as successful as he’d hoped in hiding the laugh that barks out of him, and Tony can’t help but drop his head to Steve’s shoulder, and they’re both laughing and the tension, the awkwardness with each other is suddenly gone.  
  
They move away from each other, and Steve is clearly teasing when he starts toying with the hem of his shirt. Teasing is good, Tony can totally handle that, and he smirks at Steve.  
  
“Go on Cap. Show me what you got.”  
  
 He’s standing by the bed, the one thing in the apartment that Steve had listened to him about. The frame is a sturdy oak, and it's a queen size pillow top with space age foam that hugs every single dip in your body. It's covered in linens that have an absolutely obscene thread count--Tony should know, he bought them.  
  
Steve rolls his eyes and strips off the shirt that’s been driving Tony to distraction all night, tossing it to the floor. Tony can’t help that his jaw drops and his mouth goes dry. There’s a strangled noise that fills the room, and it takes him a moment to realize that it's his voice. Huh.  
  
Yet, who could blame him? Steve is _cut_ and y’know, Tony is no slouch in the looks department, thanks, but he’s nowhere near this level of physical perfection. He makes that noise again, and can’t help slipping a hand under the elastic of his boxers to stroke himself, and gasps because it feels so good, and without thinking about it his eyes slip close again.  
  
He opens them to find Steve staring at him, just in time to see the man lick his lips. Steve’s fingers hover over the remaining buttons in his fly, until he seems to come back to himself, and soon enough his pants are gone, followed by his boxers.  
  
His face is flushed, from embarrassment or arousal, and Tony has his suspicions that it's mostly arousal. They’ve seen each other naked before, when circumstances have been less than ideal after missions. Neither of them are body shy, and it had been Tony’s absolute pleasure to learn that, while Steve has some pretty old school ideas regarding sex, he’s not at _all_ a prude.  
  
The things Steve can do with his tongue should be illegal, really, and just the thought of that combined with the sight of Steve is enough to make Tony babble like a nervous teenager.  
  
“Oh baby, you are just--yeah, c’mere.” Tony’s never really noticed it before, but when Steve obeys and moves toward him, it’s almost like he’s stalking his prey. Tony would say like a cat, but Steve is infinitely more graceful. And sexier. Has he mentioned that Steve is sexy?  
  
“ _Christ._ Do you know you slink?”

Steve laughs and gives him a smile that sends a thrill down his spine. “Maybe I do, but only for you, though.”  
  
 “Oh _god_. You’re just a filthy little thing, aren’t you? Well, I say little…“  
  
They’re only inches away from each other, so close, and it's intoxicating, really, being so close and not touching. And don’t think he hasn’t noticed that Steve very much approves of his talking. Or maybe it's just his mouth in general. Hm, maybe he should put that to the test.  
  
“You‘re hotter than I deserve, you realize? You’re gonna give me a complex, here. Are you sure it's okay that I’m planning on debauching America’s hero? Like, is that allowed, because really--”  
  
Steve claps his hand over Tony’s mouth, his eyes wide and dark. “If you’re so fond of your mouth, Tony, why don’t you put it to better use?”  
  
And Tony, he’s definitely up for that. Oh, god, is he up for that. Bad pun and all. Without another word, he drops to his knees.  
  
Steve’s cock is--well, it's just perfect really. Like the rest of Steve. Tony’s seen his fair share, and he doesn’t want to be sentimental, but honestly he doesn’t think he’s seen anything more beautiful. Long and hard, and amusingly, it curves a bit to the right. The underside of the tip is darker than the rest of him, and as Tony watches, he can literally see it jump when he breathes on it. Which makes him smirk a little.  
  
And ok, maybe it jumps because when he breathed, he may have said something along the lines of “Christ, Steve, you’re fucking _perfec_ t.  Just perfect.”  
  
Then? Well, maybe he wrapped his hand around it too. Just, you know. To be sure it was real.  
  
When he does, Steve groans and thrusts a little into his hand, and Tony looks up and gives him an absolutely filthy grin. It’s a grin that says he’d best hold on to something, because Tony is--well. He’s damn good at giving head.  
  
And he should be, he’s had an oral fixation since…well, since he can remember.  
  
He doesn’t take Steve into his mouth just yet, only watches his face and he strokes it leisurely, taking his time.  
  
This isn’t the first time he’s had his hand on Steve, of course. But it is the first time it's been more than a half desperate grope, before Steve very firmly pulled away and said goodnight.  
  
“ _Tony_. Oh, God please…”  
  
And it's also the first time Steve has actually asked for more. Who is Tony to deny him?  
  
Giving Steve’s cock a few more slow strokes, he licks his lips, and on the next down stroke of his hand, he takes the head of his cock and sucks, slowly working his way down, before drawing back. He flattens his tongue against the underside of Steve’s cock, and flutters it as he glides back down again. Tony does this a few more times, before Steve makes a choked noise and buries his hands in Tony’s hair, pushing him back a little, eyes wide. “Too much--Tony I can’t--”  
  
Tony pulls his mouth off of Steve’s cock with a wet pop. “Let me. I want to taste you, c’mon, _let me_ \--”  
  
Steve takes a step back out of Tony’s reach, panting hard, eyes glazed. “No, this is--this is about you.” He says it firmly, and takes Tony’s hand, pulling him up for a desperate kiss. “About _you_ , need to show you…”  
  
Steve’s voice trails off as he becomes very determined to leave a hickey on Tony’s collarbone, and at the moment he’s too dazed by Steve’s insistence that this is about him to really argue.  
  
He’s quiet when Steve gently--god, he’s always so gentle, _why_?-- urges him to lie down on the bed. Even when Steve grins with filthy promises in his eyes, Tony is still quiet, letting Steve do what he wants.  
  
This is so good, so right, and so-- _different_ , that Tony feels a little overwhelmed.  
  
It seems like Steve’s mouth is everywhere--his mouth, his nipples, licking a hot wet path from one to the other and--  
  
“Fuck, _Steve_!”  
  
Well ok, he’s not quiet when Steve starts licking delicately around the edge of the arc reactor, but really, it's so unexpected, and so much like earlier, when he’d been so gentle tracing the outline of scars around it.  
  
The sensation of a wet tongue there is ridiculously arousing, and Tony is begging for Steve to do anything, anything but _please god_ \--  
  
He should be embarrassed, just a little, because it only takes a few strokes to send him over the edge. Steve’s fingers wrapped around his cock, plus his tongue there, in such a secret place--which is laughable, really. It's his _chest_ , and he hadn’t been nearly as sensitive there before, had he?--and his orgasm hits him from nowhere.  
  
His breath catches in his chest, and he can’t do anything more than choke out _“Steve!”_ before his vision is whiting out and oh _god_ , there’s this feeling in his chest that keeps spilling over. It's as if pleasure tingles outward from the center of his very being, and somewhere off in the distance he hears Steve choke off his own cry before burying his head in the crook of Tony’s neck, and Tony can feel something warm and wet against his thigh, and well.  Hey, it isn't so embarrassing if Steve comes early too, right?  
  
They lay there together, gasping for breath, for he doesn’t know how long. It's only when he nudges Steve a bit that he rolls off to lay on Tony’s side. In the dim light of the bedroom, Steve is still flushed, a light sheen of sweat over his body.  
  
It’s Steve who breaks the stillness of the room with a giggle. It’s light and happy, and so very _Steve_ that Tony doesn’t even think to be offended, and just laughs with him.  
  
When they’re calm enough to actually talk, the first thing Tony says is. “So while I love the afterglow and everything, I really think we should maybe clean up. Cause, dry come? Not such a fun feeling.”  
  
Steve snickers, but ultimately he agrees and leaves the bed with an entirely goofy grin on his face, presumably for the bathroom, leaving Tony alone momentarily.  
  
Which unfortunately gives Tony time to _think_ , and you know what, he refuses to panic, because this is good. This is greatness, this is absolutely fan-fucking-tastic and he will not turn into that guy--the guy who only stuck around for the sex. _No._  
  
Because…because it's not about the sex, he couldn’t care less about the sex.

 _He couldn't care less about the sex_.Oh. Well.  
  
For the record, realizing this after you’ve just had amazing sex? A bit of a life changer.  
  
Well. It is if you're Tony Stark.  
  
When Steve comes back he’s carrying a wet washcloth, and while he’s cleaning Tony off (and who had ever done that? No one, jesus christ, no one, ever.) he suddenly blurts out “So I kinda think maybe I’m really completely screwed because I couldn’t really care less about the sex.”  
  
Which doesn’t go over exactly as he’d planned, because Steve stiffens, and his easy demeanor vanishes.  
  
“…Oh. Well Ok. Um. Sorry, know, I’m not very good at this. Do you want to go? You can go, it's fine, we can forget this ever happened.”  
  
Steve is off the bed and halfway dressed before Tony can even process what he’s saying, and when he does, he’s scrambling off the bed with his hands out.  
  
“No! Oh, god, no no no, that’s not--I didn’t mean like that, oh, geeze, ok hold on--”  
  
“-- fine, Tony, really, we can--it's fine, just, you should go, right? I mean--”  
  
“--No, see, it's not that at all, it's that I kinda think I might--”  
  
“--you’re totally right, I mean, but I can get better, maybe? You think? I can try--”  
  
“Jesus Christ, Steve, will you shut up and _listen_ to me while I’m trying to say I fucking _love you_?”  
  
“--I mean you can tea-- _What?_ ”  
  
They’re silent, a Tony actually processes what he’s just said, and oh. Oh man, this? This is so much more than he’d signed on for. Fuck. Ok. Don’t panic, don’t panic--  
  
Fuck it. Panic is good, because he is in way over his head and oh, he can’t really breathe.  
  
Now, it's him struggling to get dressed as Steve just stares at him in disbelief.  Boy, can he pick them or what?  Steve says nothing as Tony runs around, sliding his jeans on. (Ok, when did his boxers come off and where have they gone? Oh well, commando is not a new thing for him.)  He’s halfway dressed, one arm in his shirt already, when he feels Steve’s hand on his shoulder, and he freezes.  
  
“Tony…”  
  
And no, he can’t--no. Rejection has _never_ been a good experience for Tony, it's why he does all the rejecting, normally. Well, except with Pepper. She’d totally rejected him first, but he can’t blame her for that at all, and he’s pretty much put that behind him. Really.  
  
He can hear it in Steve’s voice, this will _not_ end well for him.  
  
So Tony fixes a grin to his face and turns, and he’s all lightness “No, hey, it's fine, right? I mean--maybe I’m just a bit out of it. So lets uh--we can just forget this, right, and uh--yeah. It's cool, no pressure. I should, uh--I mean, I’ve got this thing tomorrow anyway, and it's getting late so…so I should go.”  
  
Steve, god bless him, just lets him leave.  
  
He’s shaking when he gets back to Avenger's Tower. His breathing is ragged, and he does something he hasn’t done in over a year.  
  
He gets rip roaring, blindingly drunk.


	2. We All Need Someone To Drive Us Mad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's point of view from the invasion to the night he and Tony have an epic misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you may notice that this update is not so much an update, as much as it is me moving the companion story over and making it the second chapter of Taking It Slow.
> 
> Why? Cause it was bugging the heck out of me, especially since each story in the 'Verse is going to focus on different characters, so having all the Steve/Tony scattered all over the 'verse was weird to me. So I moved it.
> 
> I've got more chapters coming, just need to poke my beta, but they should be a good start I hope.

 

 

Steve is quite aware that people think he’s still overwhelmed by the 21st century. Had this been a year ago, they would have been completely right. Back then he’d been a complete mess in regards to technology and culture, and really its best not to mention his emotional state – there was a reason he’d been so hostile to Fury when he’d come asking for help with the Invasion. Steve had been miserable. Everyone he loved, gone. Everything he'd ever known had changed so drastically  
  
So alright, he hadn’t been in any sort of mood to just accept his ‘fate’ and become Captain America again and fawn over children and – no. And that went double for being willing to learn everything he needed to. Take up being a soldier again? No problem. But he was done with the outside world.  
  
They’d been expecting a lot from a guy who’d only been awake for maybe a week before all hell broke loose. Technology is so far advanced now – even considering what HYDRA had during the war – that it takes him a while to cotton onto new things when they get popular. He’s not entirely sure what Twitter is for (because who needs to know what you are doing every second of the day, honestly?) but he has one, and occasionally he uses it. The flurry of responses he gets every time he uses it confuses him. No one believes it, but he’s really just a skinny little nobody from Brooklyn. Why they fawn over his…’tweets’ completely baffles him. Steve suspects it always will.  
  
Facebook makes more sense to him (barely) and when Miss Lewis ( _“No, ok, no, please, call me Darcy, because I can’t deal with all the things that go through my head when you say ‘Miss Lewis‘ okay? It’s wrong on so many levels, really, it is. You’re Captain America, those things should be non-thinky thoughts concerning you. And me. And I’m gonna shut up now. Oh hey, look! Something you should know that is vitally important to your understanding of American culture!”_ ) introduced him to Tumblr, he pretended to be completely confused by it. She didn’t seem surprised by that, only shrugged and gave him a smile.  
  
 “Well hey, not everyone can become one with Tumblr. Still, you have any questions about it, let me know okay?”  
  
Steve waits until he is at home later that day to start his own blog under the name StarSpangledMan, and follows Darcy (talknerdytome). If she knows it’s him, she never says so to his face. Sometimes in a few posts she makes about him, he wonders. But ultimately he's content to leave everything as it is.  
  
He’s surprised that other people haven't caught on that StarSpangledMan is really him. Steve doesn’t post his name of course, doesn’t post about being Captain America or being an Avenger. Mostly he posts on how he’s dealing with everything. People often assume he’s an amnesiac relearning the world, and he doesn’t correct them. He’s made quite a few online friends this way. It’s nice.  
  
It’s funny how running an anonymous blog has increased his understanding of American culture, and helped him explore a few things about it as well. Not to mention how it has improved his typing.  
  
The cultural attitude towards sex has changed since his time, too. And not, he thinks, for the better. Steve just can’t comprehend why it’s anyone else’s business who people sleep with. On the few interviews he consents to, he makes sure to either avoid answering questions about his (utter lack) of a sex life, or to add a good bit of censure to his voice when he does answer probing questions.  
  
One of his favorites had gone a bit like this:  
  
He'd been out running late at night, as he does sometimes when he can't sleep, only to be mobbed by a few reporters on his way back to his apartment. So he'd slowed down a little and put on his best smile--and one of them, a lovely blonde young woman, had caught his attention with a question straight out of a tabloid.  
  
“So, Captain Rogers, spill! Who in the Avengers has captured your heart? We have it on good authority that a certain person has caught your eye. Wanna give us a hint at who it is?”

Really, where do they get their information? Still he'd answered her politely, but firmly.  
  
 “Well ma’am, your source is wrong, I’m sorry to say. And even if your source _wasn't_ wrongwell, I’m afraid I still wouldn’t answer. It’s not right to kiss and tell and frankly, I don’t see how it’s any of your business. It may seem old fashioned to you, but back in my day we just didn‘t talk about such things.”  
  
The woman had the good sense to look abashed, and the reporter's parted to let Steve pass by without another word. To date, they haven't been back.  
  
He thought he'd handled that particularly well, even if that little tidbit had been played on various news shows for a few weeks. After that, Darcy had called him, voice full of mirth.

 

"So, Director Fury wanted me to tell you to 'to stop shaming reporters and just stick to being wholesome'. But instead I'll just say good job, because that was a fantastic way to tell that lady to keep her curious little ass out of your personal life."

 

If there is one thing he knows how to do, it’s how to portray the All American Boy image. He used to peddle it every day, three times a day, to sell war bonds. Using his image to scold people for sticking their noses into what is essentially not their business is perfectly above board, he feels. Even if Fury gives him the stink eye every time he does it. (People seem to think he will follow every single order to the letter. Steve doesn't know where this inaccurate assumption comes from. His first truly heroic deed was a blatant disregard for orders. Unless people think going AWOL and stealing government property is following orders. Who knows?  
  
Still the point is, even though he's more comfortable than he was, inevitably Steve finds himself completely confused. When Google or the oft-cited Wikipedia are no help, he goes to either Tony or Darcy for an explanation.  
  
It’s funny, because if someone had told Steve at the beginning that he would be going to Tony – _voluntarily_ – for help with technology, or anything really, he would have told them to get their head checked out. Not cruelly or anything, because Steve is a genuinely nice guy. He just would have been honestly and truly worried about that person’s mental health.  
  
And with good reason, too. Because after the invasion, after they see Thor and Loki ( the latter bound and gagged, the tesseract between them) off to Asgard and the Avengers go their separate ways to relax, Steve and Tony still do not get along. Sure, they can fight together, and okay, the after battle Shawarma went a good long way to fixing things between them, but by no means were they friends.  
  
At the end of the day, Tony Stark is still Tony Stark, and not even a week after everything has gone down, Steve finds out that he’s given an interview to Time magazine, and Fury had to intervene and heavily edit out the classified bits.  
  
After the biting phone call from Fury to "Control your team, Captain. Or _I_ will." Steve doesn’t wait to read the report about it, just gets on his motorcycle and makes incredibly good time to Stark Tower–where he finds Tony drunk as hell and just begging for a fight. And so they have it out, _finally._  
  
At the end of it, Tony is bloodied and laughing and Steve doesn’t feel very good about this turn of events at all, so out of guilt he stays and keeps Tony company, cleaning up the mess they had both made, and making sure the billionaire doesn’t do anything crazy. Or get any drunker.  
  
When Ms. Potts arrives, he gets a scathing lecture and is sent home like a child, very firmly set in his place. To this day, all it takes is a pointed look from Pepper to get him to clam up.  
  
After that initial cockfight, things become easier between he and Tony, hell the whole team seems to have become a better fit. Months after the Invasion, they’re all (save for Thor, who is still off-world) sitting in a S.H.I.E.L.D debrief room just shooting the breeze when Barton goes absolutely white. Everyone in the room turns towards the door, and the man standing there is an impossibility.  
  
He doesn't know how long they sit there just staring blankly at Phil Coulson. The man is pale and very obviously in pain – still wearing his suit like it's armor– and alive, impossibly _alive._  
  
Steve isn’t aware that he’s moved until he feels the very solid presence of Tony’s arm around his waist, and Clint’s hand on his shoulder, and Bruce – well, Bruce whispers softly in his ear to calm down, to breathe through it, and when he comes back to himself he is mortified, but still angry, and it’s funny because somehow between the invasion and now, they have become a solid unit that can talk each other down.  
  
So Steve doesn’t punch Fury, but it’s a close thing, and Natasha, for her part, just starts spitting Russian at Fury and continues to do so every time he tries to talk for the whole of the debrief, which makes Coulson smile every time.  
  
It isn’t long after that, that Stark Tower has been repaired and renamed Avenger’s Tower, and Tony invites everyone to move in. Almost everyone takes him up on the offer, except for Steve, because he’s happy in his little Brooklyn apartment with its quiet little neighborhood, and Pepper, who had very quietly and very firmly told Tony she couldn‘t be the girl he came home to every night anymore, because now that he’s joined up with the Avengers it’s less and less likely that he’ll actually be coming home hale and hearty.  
  
Steve only knows this because he’s the one Tony came to after, when he was drunk as hell and hurting. He doesn’t know why Tony came to him of all people, but he’s a good listener, so he did just that.  
  
And that night, it seems, is what started it all off. They start hanging out together, doing things together, and at first it’s just as friends. It's taken nearly a year, but Steve is finally beginning to see what most people don’t look for: Tony Stark, the genuine person.  
  
The press is enchanted with their friendship, even more so when it becomes apparent that Tony is shaping up. He hasn’t touched alcohol in months, and he doesn’t go home with random people anymore. On more than one occasion Pepper has called Steve to thank him for helping Tony turn his life around. Steve doesn’t see it this way, he sees their friendship as an equal thing. Sure, maybe his influence is helping Tony become a responsible adult (though the man is still full of wit and innuendo that make Steve blush sometimes) but Tony has helped him, too, in so many ways.  
  
It isn’t until Tony surprises Steve on the day of his – er, the day he’d woken up and found himself in that horrible little room, that he realizes just how far _gone_ for Tony he really is.  
  
It takes him nearly three months of painfully simple dates that Steve gets up the courage to kiss Tony.  
  
And it takes him another nine to be sure that yeah, Tony is taking this seriously, and when he finally makes his move (after a lot of teasing from Darcy about being such an old-fashioned guy) he thinks it goes off without a hitch. At least, if the come currently coating his thigh and stomach is anything to go by. He’s pretty sure it is.  
  
For a few moments after, everything is just about being together, on his bed, hot and sweaty and sated and _just being._ When Tony nudges him to move, he does so, settling in on the smaller man’s side.  
  
Sex with Tony is…wow. Yeah. It has completely blown his mind, and he’s got a goofy little grin on his face, and when Tony says something about how maybe they should clean up, he happily goes off to the bathroom in search of a washcloth.  
  
When he looks into the mirror, he can’t help but stare because he’s flushed, and yeah, that ridiculous grin is still on his face, and he’s got beard burn on his neck and chin, but Steve thinks that, well, that’s just par for the course, isn’t it? He cleans himself off, and grabs another washcloth and warms it before heading back into the bedroom.  
  
Tony is quiet while he cleans him off, and Steve can’t help but feel a little sad because the look on Tony’s face is completely open, and he looks a little lost. How is it that no one has shown him that he’s worth caring for? Well, okay, not no one, but clearly two people in his lifetime (himself and Pepper) are not nearly enough.  
  
Steve plans on remedying that. He’s about to say so, when Tony speaks.  
  
“So I kinda think maybe I’m really completely screwed because I couldn’t really care less about the sex.”  
  
Steve goes completely still, shocked because he’d thought that this had been...fantastic He draws away from Tony, horribly embarrassed because, well they’d gotten off, right, so he couldn’t have been that bad, but clearly Tony is not impressed. And why would he be, he know's Tony's past. Surely the man was expecting better.  
  
“…Oh. Well okay. Um. Sorry, I know I’m not very good at this. Do you want to go? You can go, it’s fine, we can forget this ever happened.”  
  
Steve’s got his jeans on and is searching for his shirt before Tony has even registered he’s off the bed. Tony follows him quickly, and out of the corner of his eye he can see that he’s got both hands up, trying to stop him obviously, but not touching him.  
  
  
“No! oh, god, no no no, that’s not--I didn’t mean like _that_ , oh, geeze ok hold on--”  
  
Steve is starting to panic now, because he doesn’t want empty assurances that he’s good in bed, so it’s fine, really it is. It’s –  
  
“– fine, Tony, really we can – it’s _fine_ , just, you should go, right? I mean –”  
  
“– No, see, it’s not that _at all_ , it’s that I kinda think I might –”  
  
“You’re totally right, I mean, but I can get better, maybe? You think? I can try –”  
  
They’re talking over each other and Steve can barely register what Tony is saying but he’s pretty sure his own voice is about to break.  
  
“Jesus Christ, Steve, will you shut up and listen to me while I’m trying to say I fucking love you?”  
  
“ – I mean you can tea – _What?_ ”  
  
They fall silent, and Steve knows that Tony hadn’t meant to say that at all. They’re staring at each other, wide eyed and Steve is –  
  
Well, scared? Elated, of course, but mostly scared because Tony is very obviously about to panic, but hold on, because this is a lot to take in, because uh, wow.  
  
Tony Stark loves him.  
  
Which is fantastic, it’s more than fantastic, it’s absolutely brilliant and Steve really, really wants to kiss Tony now, and that’s when he realizes that there’s a whirlwind of activity, and suddenly he can see that Tony is struggling to get into his dress shirt – his jeans are already on, he’s already shoved his feet into his shoes – barefoot.  
  
Steve panics, because Tony can’t just say that and _leave,_ but he’s completely overwhelmed over here, give a guy a chance to catch his breath, right?  
  
He places a hand on Tony’s shoulder, and tries desperately to say something, anything, but all that comes out is “Tony…”  
  
But he can’t say anything else, nothing is processing. Give him a break, he’s gone from orgasm to amazing afterglow to the sting of rejection to _holy smokes Tony Stark is in love with him_ to _oh god, Tony is leaving_ , _how can he make him stay?_ and all in less than a five minute span of time.  
  
Steve feels the change go through him, knows that Tony has just put on his press face, and sure enough when he turns, there’s a smile on his face, and he’s projecting ‘I’m fine, totally fine, what, me, don’t worry about me’ all over the place, and it only hurts Steve more because now, anything he says, Tony won’t believe.  
  
“No, hey, it’s fine, right? I mean – maybe I’m just a bit out of it. So let’s uh – we can just forget this, right, and uh – yeah. It’s cool, no pressure. I should, uh – I mean, I’ve got this thing tomorrow anyway, and it’s getting late so…so I should go.”  
  
So Steve just lets him leave, because Tony is in damage control mode, he’s panicked and hurting and it’s all Steve’s fault.  
  
He doesn’t move until he hears the front door close, the silent ‘snick’ of the lock more damning than anything he’s ever heard in his entire life.  
  
He sits on his bed, head in his hands.  
  
“I love you too, Tony.”  
  
The empty room doesn’t answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, I'm still going to fix it--I did promise didn't I? I know this was meant to be the fix, but you've gotta write what you write, y'know?
> 
> The next story is probably going to be a long one instead of a one-shot, about our lovely boys working everything out. I've got a bit of it written, and with the long weekend coming, I'm sure I will have plenty of time to write more.
> 
> ETA on 5/27/2012: So, good news: I have more written! Bad news: It's gonna be a while before I update, because I want to have a good couple of chapters in on this thing before I start posting it. That way you can get regular updates, etc. Stick with me though folks, I promise I won't leave you hanging. =)


	3. A Progress Report from a Very Sorry Author

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a status update, fear not, this hasn't been abandoned (even though it has been literally YEARS. I am so sorry.)

So! To those of you who have this bookmarked or occassionally come back hoping it is finished, I am very sorry to say it is not finished.

However, I am going to be splitting this up into separate stories, because I have a general idea of how I want the Steve/Tony angst to be finished, and it just doesn't work as well as I would like as part of THIS particular story (aka, the story of the tower invasion).

So I will be doing some work, uploading the tower invasion story as its own thing and trying to keep it going (one of the reasons it has been literal YEARS is because of school, life, and computer issues, and a cross country move and a job that took a shit ton out of me until recently! Also I lost a lot of this story and have been slowly putting it back together, alas.)

So! Here's to seeing you all soon? And again, my apologies for leaving you all hanging.

**Author's Note:**

> This is all TariCalmcacil's fault. She wanted a fic where Tony is like "Why are you being all tender to me?" when he and Steve finally get down and dirty. And this happened.  
> Hope I did well, Pic! =D
> 
> Beta'd by the amazing lavenderfrost
> 
> Note: There will be more in this 'verse, because I've already got 3 different docs up w/ more stories. So, stay tuned I guess, and if you have any comments/questions/constructive criticism, feel free to leave them here! Thank you. =)


End file.
